心觉知Heartful Awareness

住在美国康州，如果想吃煎饼，大概是只能去纽约皇后区的法拉盛了。离我开车一个小时。

之前怀孕的时候，最想吃的就是煎饼。

煎饼果子。是我童年的回忆。在我上小学的时候，平时早餐多半是学校里的馒头，粥，之类的。但每次期末考试，父母为了给我打气，就会给我买一个煎饼。

最重要的是，这个煎饼里要放两个鸡蛋和一根香肠，象征着100。不管是鼓励还是压力，反正小时候考100分就是我的目标。

最近在亚洲超市买东西凑单，看到了绿豆面。问来美国和我居住的爸爸妈妈，咱们可以在家做煎饼吗？我想吃了。

买了需要的食材后，爸妈发现饼铛可以做煎饼。于是我这两天每天早上都有好吃的煎饼吃。天天吃也不腻。怀念的味道。

爸爸妈妈没有上过很多学，做各种各样的生意。可我小时候不懂事，不知道他们有多辛苦。

他们在我上大学后，在北京最繁华的王府井大街旁边的一个巷子里的菜市场租了一个摊位。后来他们在那里开始卖烤鸡。时间久了，烤鸡挣钱不够多，他们开始卖煎饼果子。一卖就卖了八年。后来关店也是被迫，还给妈妈带来了很大焦虑。

一个煎饼三块五毛钱，后来涨到了五块钱，利润大概是50%。因为他们没有雇人。他们每天早上五点出摊，晚上八点收摊。收拾店，到家近十点。每天的收入让他们很开心，但这收入的代价是身体长年累月的疲劳。

我在前一篇博客提到我开车去送未来的美国博导去机场。那辆车就是他们卖了无数个煎饼给家里买的，后来给我在读研究生时试用。在知道我要去美国读博后，我对自己的英语没有信心，报名了北京昂贵的精英英语听力口语培训，也是爸妈赞助的。

没有煎饼，就没有今天的我。没有煎饼，也没有我们一家人今天的生活。几个生命。

这样说，并不是抹灭其他的因素。而我感受到的正是一行禅师描述的。

If you are a poet, you will see clearly

that there is a cloud floating in this sheet of paper.

Without a cloud, there will be no rain

without rain, the trees cannot grow

and without trees, we cannot make paper.

If we look into this sheet of paper even more deeply,

we can see the sunshine in it.

If the sunshine is not there, the forest cannot grow.

In fact nothing can grow without sunshine.

And so, we know that the sunshine is also in this sheet of paper.

And if we continue to look we can see the logger

who cut the tree and brought it to the mill

to be transformed into paper.

And we see the wheat.

We know that the logger cannot exist without his daily bread,

and therefore the wheat that became his bread

is also in this sheet of paper.

And the logger’s father and mother are in it too.

When we look in this way we see that without

all of these things, this sheet of paper cannot exist.

Looking even more deeply, we can see we are in it too.

You cannot point out one thing that is not here in this piece of paper!

Time, space, the earth, the rain, the minerals in the soil,

the sunshine, the cloud, the river, the heat….beauty, love…

Everything co-exists with this sheet of paper.

As thin as this sheet of paper is, it contains everything in the universe in it.

–by Thich Nhat Hanh 

如果你的父母还活着，如果他们还会给你做一道菜，希望你也品尝出一行禅师的诗意。🙂